i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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