If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
