Quick, to the slutcave!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
