It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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