Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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