I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
