Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
