OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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