I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
