I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i think i have two assholes
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
