Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
