The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
