What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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