so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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