I CAN MOONWALK!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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