i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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