Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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