There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
