Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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