How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
