i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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