so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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