he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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