Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
