The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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