The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
