I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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