He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Randomize
