They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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