shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
