He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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