whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
