it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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