Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She even gives head with a lisp.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
