Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
