lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
