Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Welp...herpes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
