No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
