I wanna bring you to show and tell
My liver just broke up with me...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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