and my herpes radar will keep us safe
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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