You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
