IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
