i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
