His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
