idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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