if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
