I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
