he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just want nice things and good sex
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
