Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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