Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
