Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
