How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize