I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize