Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
