So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
