um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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