I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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