i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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