You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
