thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
