...so i touched it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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